…due March 2022.

I still can’t believe that I’m lucky enough to say/write that our fourth IVF transfer was a success, and not only was it a success but we’re expecting twins! Two babies, two rainbows sent to heal our hearts. We are forever grateful to ARGC, our IVF clinic, for turning our dream into a reality for us.

It’s been a very tough journey, the toughest protocol I’ve followed with a lot of tears, stress, and fears along the way. 4.30am wake up calls for 5am jabs, daily and sometimes twice daily visits to the clinic an hour’s drive away for blood test and scans. I was left bloated, bruised, and tired with little energy inside of me. But we collected nine eggs, of which eight were mature and all eight fertilised. We ended up with seven great quality embryos and two of those are now snug in my belly. I still can’t believe they’re both in there because there was a point post positive pregnancy test that we feared we would lose them both.

Whilst I was swollen after my egg collection, it was only when I got my BFP did my engorged stomach start to become painful and cause me great discomfort. My HCG numbers were very high, indicating twins and this is what was causing the additional swelling of my ovaries. At just over five weeks, the same day we found out there were two sacs, I became very unwell very quickly and was admitted to the hospital with OHSS. The pain was like no other, I felt like my right ovaries had burst and I was struggling to breathe through the pain and vomiting. As my husband held my hand, I told him that I didn’t think our babies would survive such a trauma and I was sorry yet again for letting us down. A few days later I was discharged and drove straight to our supportive clinic for a scan. To our disbelief, both babies were there, their little hearts beating happily away.

Just two days later, I ended up back in the hospital with an infection, now with fluid around my ovaries. I was being put through the wringer, that much was clear.

I think those two weeks in total may have been the scariest of this whole entire process, and not just because I was so unwell, but because I had so much to lose, and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing our two precious and most wanted babies after everything we had been through. 

Due to our circumstances, we have been very closely monitored by our clinic and local hospital. These babies are the most photographed and scanned unborn babies ever, having been scanned at a minimum on a weekly basis. With each scan up until this point, we’ve held our breaths and closed our eyes in fear of hearing those dreaded words that broke our hearts in March 2020. Sympathetic to our anxieties, our doctors would sensitively review the screen and quickly identify the heartbeats before turning it to us to show us our babies were healthy and unscathed. Tears of joy would stream down my face as my husband held my hand tight, his eyes beaming with happiness and love. 

Seeing my husbands’ eyes light up each time after seeing his two babies, has filled my heart with warmth and more love than I knew capable. Whilst I’m the one who carries the physical burden of IVF, he’s felt the need to hold it all together for these past two years to protect me, suppressing his own fears and his own anxieties. But he’s lighter today, his skin brighter and energy calmer and to witness that is incredibly special for me.

We’re through the worst now, I’m much better and our babies are continuing to grow ahead of time with strong heartbeats. Whilst pregnancy after loss remains a scary concept, we’re starting to settle into this pregnancy and believe that we will get to bring our gorgeous babies’ home in March 2022.

So, whilst it’s been an incredibly tough and unpredictable journey, I wouldn’t change it for the world knowing what I now know today. We’ve a long way to go, but for today we’re going to bask in our excitement and happiness.

Baby dust and love to all. Sophie xx