I’m round, starting to swell in my fingers and ankles, struggling to sleep and about to go on maternity leave. Life is good, and I’m feeling really happy!

I cannot believe that in just four working days’ time, I’ll be closing my laptop for the final time as I pack up work in preparation for my next adventure – becoming a mummy to my two little humans growing inside of my tummy.

At 31 weeks, I still have a few weeks left to grow these babies. However, as I start to wind down, I’ve started to reflect on my journey through to today.

Pregnancy after everything we’ve been through; two miscarriages, two IVF cycles and four IVF transfers, has not been easy. It has come with its own set of complex emotions and anxieties. In the early days, I was sick with OHSS and constantly worrying about whether I would make it through the first trimester. We’d walk into our weekly scans full of nerves and unable to look at the monitor until we knew the babies’ hearts were beating away, to which we’d share a tear and spend the next few days in a happy bubble before that same fear would set in again.

By the time the second trimester came around, I was starting to feel a little more confident in my body and trust that it was keeping my babies safe. Physically at this point, I was feeling fairly healthy. I had no sickness, I was sleeping a little better, I didn’t have many aches or pains that couldn’t be managed, and I started to believe that we would be bringing these babies home come early 2022. What really helped soften the anxiety was seeing my belly grow with each passing week to eventually feeling my babies kick around 22 weeks. That first kick was surreal yet amazing, it was proof in my mind that inside my tummy was two little humans, moving around and getting cosy in the home I’ve hopefully made warm and snug for them!  

It was around the middle of the second trimester that we purchased our first product for the babies, a bespoke nursing chair for the nursery. We had braved a visit to Mamas & Papas to get a feel for the type of things we’d like to purchase for our babies, alongside the essentials required to keep them going for the first few months of their lives. Whilst a little overwhelming, it felt so special to be in a position where we could say to the staff “we’re preparing for twins and need this and that…” – we even took some photos to mark the memory and a video of my husband test driving the prams! To be able to do such a thing after such a traumatic journey feels even more magical, and it was really at this point that excitement started to replace our anxieties.  

It was also around the late second trimester that we stopped saying, when asked, “our babies are due end of February, hopefully if all goes well…”  and started saying with more confidence and belief that “our babies are due end of February.” No caveat needed, and this for me marks our biggest step forwards in this pregnancy.

The third trimester, whilst still early days, is a little more physically challenging with three hospital visits already under our belts at 31 weeks pregnant. The first due to me having Covid, the second due to a bleed and the third due to me having what was thought to be a show.   

I have grade 4 placenta previa, which means one of my placentas is completely covering my cervix which can cause bleeding and more serious complications. Whilst I had been aware bleeding was possible, I’ve been lucky enough up until now not to experience any. When I saw blood clots in the toilet bowl and red blood on my tissue, I panicked, and the worst went through my head. Was this early labour? Thankfully it wasn’t, and both babies are quite happily kicking me in both my ribs and bladder which they can continue to do so for at least another 5-6 weeks!

Just a couple of days later, I lost what looked like my mucus plug (not a pretty site). Because there was a fair amount of what I can only describe as gooey jelly that contained old blood, I was again panicked. As it continued for 24 hours, I was back in the hospital to check my cervix was closed. Another prod and poke downstairs told us my cervix was tightly shut (amazing news) and that what I had experienced is linked to my placenta previa.

I’ve now been told I need to slow it right down and rest as much as possible. Whilst I can still take a gentle walk here and there, I’m mainly needing to put my feet up and avoid doing too much. With each visit to the hospital, our nerves are shaken but we continue to stay positive because look how far we’ve come! I’m 31 weeks, that once felt like an unreachable dream but it’s here, it’s happening, and it’s honestly been the most magical experience ever.

Whilst we’re being kept on our toes, we still have so much of our third trimester to look forward to. My husband with the help of his family, are currently building our babies beautiful starry nursery which warms my heart so much. I’ll be packing my hospital bag alongside the babies’ bag in just a week’s time, and we’ve also just started our antenatal classes so we can start to feel prepared for labour and what to do once babies arrive!

Each day, with hand on belly, we tell our little humans just how much we love them and can’t wait to meet them. They sometimes respond with a little kick beneath our palms which I’m choosing to believe is their way of saying “we love you too, mummy and daddy”.  

The countdown is on to meeting our long awaited and much loved, Potter Twins xx