I sometimes wake up in the mornings and look over at our babies sleeping peacefully and remember just how blessed we truly are. You see, our babies are special. They are IVF rainbow babies, and I thank my lucky stars each and every day for them.

It’s hard to believe that in the year and months before July last year, we were going through some of our hardest times. Loss, IVF failures and just so much heartache is all we knew. We lived each of our days with just one goal in mind; to get pregnant. It was endless appointments with our fertility doctors, new tests and drugs, more injections, and a crazy number of supplements. It was making plans with the mindset that “what if we’re pregnant by then?” only to cancel them because of course I wasn’t pregnant and my mental health had taken yet another hit, knocking me back down with yet more disappointment.

And then just like that, our fourth attempt of transferring (two) healthy embryos worked, and we were pregnant. For once, I wasn’t dreaming, those two lines were here, and they were here to stay. As my belly grew, so did my belief that I would be holding and bringing home my babies come February 2022.

I’m one of the lucky ones, I have been able to turn the page and close the chapter on becoming a first-time mummy to babies that I’ve been able to hold and bring home. My fractured heart is mended, stitched back together with the love that Blair & Mason bring to my life.

My fertility journey was a difficult one, one that has left me with scars and bitter memories, but it has also made me into the very best version of myself that I’ve ever known, and I hope, also the best mummy to Blair & Mason.  

That isn’t to say that I have all the answers as a new mum, because of course I don’t. Having twins isn’t easy and it comes with many challenges; I’m tired in new ways and there are days that threaten to overwhelm me with tears. The double cries despite being fed, changed, burped, and cuddled can be intense and I can sometimes feel my anxiety trying to burst through the box I’ve neatly put it in. I’m in desperate need of a breather to refuel, yet I can’t seem to leave my babies in fear of missing even a single second of their lives. I waited so long for them that I’m now so afraid for them to be out of my sight.

But at the end of those more challenging days, I sit and remind myself of where I once was and where I don’t ever want to be again, and my mind is instantly calmed.

I wished and I prayed for the beautiful chaos that I find myself in now, and I really wouldn’t change any of it, ever.

So, here is to the next 6 months + forever more with our rainbows, our lucky stars and our little loves xx