- A new chapter..A year ago, I closed my (work) laptop for the year ahead, ready to start my maternity leave five weeks ahead of my babies scheduled arrival. I was excited to have the break from work, having faced a couple of challenging years keeping myself above water whilst trying to balance both a demanding work environment… Read more: A new chapter..
- And just like that..I sometimes wake up in the mornings and look over at our babies sleeping peacefully and remember just how blessed we truly are. You see, our babies are special. They are IVF rainbow babies, and I thank my lucky stars each and every day for them. It’s hard to believe that in the year and… Read more: And just like that..
- Over the rainbow..It’s taken me a while to write this next blog for many reasons, one being the obvious in that both my hands are now full with two gorgeous babies and the second being that I’ve not really known how to articulate the feelings I’ve had these past few weeks. When I first set eyes… Read more: Over the rainbow..
- My dearest husband..We’re fast approaching the day we get to meet our two little humans, and with just two weeks to go, I think it’s time for me to tell you how thankful I am for all you have done for me and for us, our growing little family. Where do I even begin? Without you, I’m… Read more: My dearest husband..
- My treatment plan..I have been asked a lot recently what I did differently for my successful IVF transfer, and so I’ve recounted the personalised process that I went through below in case it helps spark new ideas of tests to explore in those of you who have been going through this same process for some while now,… Read more: My treatment plan..
- It’s happening!I’m round, starting to swell in my fingers and ankles, struggling to sleep and about to go on maternity leave. Life is good, and I’m feeling really happy! I cannot believe that in just four working days’ time, I’ll be closing my laptop for the final time as I pack up work in preparation for… Read more: It’s happening!
- It’s the most wonderful..…time of the year said no infertile ever. Whilst many spend the festive season partying, drinking, letting their hair down and generally loving all that Christmas means and brings, for those who are struggling to conceive or who have experienced a baby loss, it can be a painful reminder of what they don’t have. A… Read more: It’s the most wonderful..
- Pregnancy after infertility....IVF and baby loss is a lot harder than I expected it to be. Whilst I’m incredibly grateful for where I am today, I can’t shake the deep feeling of anxiety and fear that lives with me daily. Going through the trauma of infertility, IVF and baby loss has in many ways scarred me. It… Read more: Pregnancy after infertility..
- Our double rainbow..…due March 2022. I still can’t believe that I’m lucky enough to say/write that our fourth IVF transfer was a success, and not only was it a success but we’re expecting twins! Two babies, two rainbows sent to heal our hearts. We are forever grateful to ARGC, our IVF clinic, for turning our dream into… Read more: Our double rainbow..
- I’ll take my eggs matured, please..I’m tired. I’m bruised. I’m nervous. But I’m also feeling really, really hopeful and positive for our egg collection tomorrow morning. Changing clinics and starting all over again with a new protocol has been refreshing and very much needed. It’s been a completely new experience for me, and every single day has been changed up by… Read more: I’ll take my eggs matured, please..
- Dear husband..This ones for you, on Father’s Day. Today isn’t just about the fathers who are lucky enough to kiss their babies to sleep each night, or watch them grow each day into their own little personalities. Today is also about the fathers who never got to hold their baby, to watch them grow in their… Read more: Dear husband..
- A fresh start..Albert Einstein said that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, is a form of insanity. And he’s right, it really is. This is one of the reasons why me and my husband have made the difficult decision to move to a new IVF clinic and begin our journey all… Read more: A fresh start..
- I’m not broken..Time slows down when you’re living with an overwhelming sense of sadness, when getting through a single day of work with a smile on your face takes every ounce of your energy, when you’re simply trying to keep yourself above water and survive the day without crumbling into tiny little pieces. Time slows down when… Read more: I’m not broken..
- National Infertility Awareness Week..Trying for a baby used to be so much fun. We’d plan romantic nights at home and away, pour ourselves a wine or two and just generally enjoy a lot of sex. It was a happy time for us until one day it wasn’t. We were so lucky to fall pregnant naturally in December 2019… Read more: National Infertility Awareness Week..
- Our third embryo transfer..…ended in a chemical pregnancy and a whole lot of heartache. Once again, we’re left utterly devastated that this hasn’t worked out for us. What’s really disheartening is that this was our third attempt with a double embryo transfer, and I was very conscious that if this didn’t work, we’d be losing two of our… Read more: Our third embryo transfer..
- My journey through IVF..When I was just 24, I came off the pill with the intent of allowing my body to recover from the years of forced hormones I’d been taking to prevent me from falling pregnant. At the age of 26, I sought advice for heavy and painful periods from a gynaecologist who ran hormone tests and… Read more: My journey through IVF..
- The loneliest grief..Throughout my fertility journey, I’ve often had days where despite being surrounded by a lot of love and support, I’ve never felt lonelier. The statistics will tell you that it’s sadly common for women to miscarry and for couples to struggle with their fertility. I’m that one in every four people who has experienced the… Read more: The loneliest grief..
- Saying Goodbye..“I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat”. It’s been one whole year since those words were spoken. One whole year since we were told that you were gone, that we had suffered a missed miscarriage. Yet, I remember it as if it were just yesterday. I remember my heart shattering into a million pieces, the room so… Read more: Saying Goodbye..
- Today it’s my birthday....I’m another year older. I should be feeling happy, giddy, excited and yet instead I feel sadness and overwhelmed by the messages of love and birthday wishes I’m receiving from my friends and family. I’ve been reluctant to acknowledge my birthday for a long time, scared of it coming around because this day a year… Read more: Today it’s my birthday..
- Hello Mr Magpie……Where’s your wife? Magpies. If you are superstitious about magpies then asking, “hello Mr Magpie, how’s your wife?” will be something that you do on a regular basis and I bet every time you see a lonesome magpie. Am I right? As the childhood rhyme goes, seeing one magpie brings sorrow. If you see two,… Read more: Hello Mr Magpie…
- Dear pregnant friend..This one’s for you, my dear pregnant friend. This may not be the easiest of reads, I know that because it’s not easy for me to write either. What I’m about to write is so deeply rooted in me, it’s so complex and confusing in my own mind that I don’t fully expect you to… Read more: Dear pregnant friend..
- A rollercoaster of emotions..I woke up today feeling positive, energised and peaceful. I got up, did a quick yoga flow and got myself ready for a busy morning of calls. It’s now almost 4pm as I’m sat writing this, and my spritely mood has been replaced once again with anxiety and a heaviness in my chest. It’s EXHAUSTING… Read more: A rollercoaster of emotions..
- The miscarriage..On the drive home from the hospital, we both felt numb and in shock. At home as I lay on my bed, I called my mum. I remember my dad answering the phone, excited to hear from his daughter. I asked for my mum who took the phone from him and I began to tell… Read more: The miscarriage..
- The twelfth week milestone..Reaching 12 weeks felt like such an achievement. We were safe, nothing could go wrong now that we had past the fearful first trimester and we were most definitely bringing our baby home in September 2020. My earlier symptoms of nausea, tender boobs, exhaustion, food aversions, chin spots and headaches had begun to subside by… Read more: The twelfth week milestone..
- The day I got my BFP..I remember the moment I got my BFP (big fat positive) for the first time. It really was a magical moment. It was a Sunday night early January 2020, I’d just arrived home from a weekend in Brighton with my girlfriends and my husband was waiting for me with a pregnancy test in hand. I… Read more: The day I got my BFP..
- Welcome to my story..It’s a Saturday morning and as I’m sat here thinking about what to write for my very first blog post, I think about all that I’ve gone through in the past year and decide that I guess there’s no better place to start than the present. This morning I had my BFN (big fat negative)… Read more: Welcome to my story..
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A Sprinkle of Baby Dust 